Little Pink Monster –Literally. Somewhere around the evening of January 2.
I slipped on ice, fell backwards, hit the back of my head on the driveway & was knocked unconscious. I say “somewhere” because I have no memory of hitting my head.
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At all. What I do remember is driving home, pulling into our driveway (which is notorious for having one nasty area that is very steep & is under a dense tree canopy, making it the perfect spot for melting snow to refreeze) & I remember my van skidding, trying to get up that slick, steep spot & then sliding backwards right into the dense snowpack that was still around from the big blizzard the week before. I remember trying several times to get my car out but since the van does not have 4 wheel drive it was pretty much impossible. I remember walking up to the house & thinking, “Well, what the heck do I do now?”During the week of school being canceled we had to get pretty creative on ways to keep the kids entertained. I had two huge boxes that hadn’t been broken down yet for recycling so I set them up in the living room with a bin of markers, stickers, pillows & blankets & let the girls go to town on creating their own little houses. Man, they loved those boxes, I think they’d still be living in them if I let them. Unfortunately for the box apartments I saw another use for them. I thought if I cut off the side flaps, you know, that would normally be used to close the boxes, I could maybe finagle them under the front two tires to hopefully give the van just enough traction to get out of the snow.
I remember trying to cut the flaps off with scissors & cursing at the cardboard for being so darn impossible to cut through. I remember going into the kitchen, pulling open the knife drawer & picking up my good Wusthof serrated knife.
I remember staring at the knife & contemplating in my head, “This will definitely cut the cardboard & the sooner I get the car out the sooner I can slip into some warm cozy pajamas & go to bed, BUT, cutting any sort of paper product will without a doubt dull the blade. Which would really suck.” As I type this I’m shaking my head at how silly I was to actually stand there, holding the knife & debating in my head as to use whether or not to use it. After you read the rest of the story you’ll get why now in hindsight I view things like inanimate objects with a different perspective. Next is where it gets a little fuzzy. I remember cutting one side panel off of each girl’s box because I knew I was going to have two pissed off little princesses when they saw mommy slashed their cardboard apartments but at least if I took one from each box then I might possibly avoid adding the “IT’S NOT FAIRRRRR, why did you cut MY box and not HERS!?” Oh the way mommy brains work, sometimes I think my kids must have secret meetings & plot out how they’re going to work me over next… I know I also grabbed a shovel & I remember trying to dig out the snow around the tires with the thought that it might help.
And then, that’s it. It’s like the TV in my head just goes black. I don’t remember falling, I don’t remember laying there, (which not to gross you out but by the puddle of blood I had to have been out at least a few minutes) I don’t remember getting up & going back in the house. The next thing I remember is having a WICKED headache, and I’m a girl who has had headaches & migraines since I was a child & this was by far the worst I’ve ever experienced.
I remember fumbling around the bathroom trying to find my migraine medication but it’s very hard to describe how I felt aside from the headache. I had no clue at this point that the back of my head was sliced open & that there was dried blood all in my hair) I knew I had migraine medication but I didn’t know where, I also had what I’d best describe as vertigo, I would get dizzy & weak & need to sit down but I just assumed it was all from the headache.
When I couldn’t figure out where I kept my medication (it was on the top shelf of the linen closet in our bathroom, right where it always is) I decided to take a hot shower. Hot showers usually give me some relief when I have a headache, except this one was weird. And I don’t mean to be vulgar but it speaks as to how odd head injuries can present themselves. I remember seeing blood streaming down my body when I got in the shower. I could smell it, I could taste it (which I now know is because it was in my hair & washing down my face) but I just could not figure out where the heck it was coming from. Even weirder is how little it concerned me. I remember thinking, “eh, it’s just a nose bleed probably” all I could think about was how much my head hurt.
I took two more showers during the night as sleeping was impossible, both times just as much blood & I was just as clueless. The girls were with Peter that night, I later found out from the hospital routine testing that I had a UTI as well, but at the time I just knew I felt like crap & had asked him to take them for the night. Thank goodness I did, I can’t imagine how it would have turned out if they were there to witness it all.
Unfortunately, they weren’t completely spared. The next thing I remember is P banging on the door. Watch A Million To Juan HDQ. At least it felt like banging, a pin dropping would have irritated my headache by that point. That’s when I went into panic mode, at some point I had fallen asleep on the couch but I didn’t know how I got there. P also almost never comes to the door anymore. It’s sad but that’s how bad our divorce has become, or at least that’s why I think he doesn’t get out of the car.
He waits for the kids to come out or let’s them get out on their own if he’s dropping them off. Or at least I think that’s why he acts the way he does, out of resentment, but obviously I don’t know for sure, it’s just a gut thing. So at this point my head still hurt terribly & now I have Peter & the girls at the door. I answer the door, and immediately he says to me “Why is there blood all over the driveway?!” One of the girls, I think it was Soph, says, “Mommy, why are your glasses broken? And there’s blood all over them!?” Then Peter, “And your keys are in the driveway, and your van is in the snow, what did you do??” Just typing this is hard, I can feel my shoulders tensing up to my ears because the thought of how traumatizing this must have been for them, I hate even thinking about it. To say I was confused by this dialogue is an understatement.
I’m panicked because I constantly feel like there’s a bulls- eye on my back. Like any misstep I might make, P is waiting & ready to sick his legal pitbulls on me. There is no understanding or compassion, & the love? I don’t know what he did with it. We were married for 8 years after all, but it certainly seems to have been locked away in a vault where he doesn’t have to allow his heart or head to feel anything for me anymore. But like I said, that’s my theory. I can see from the front door that my glasses & keys are indeed on the driveway & I can’t even come up with a lie to try & explain that one 3.
I can see the girls are terrified. They were just looking up at me with those big brown eyes waiting for me to give an explanation that will comfort them & take away the worry that was written all over their little faces. Critters Full Movie Online Free. So I lied. I told P that I was fine, mommy’s van got stuck in the snow & I hit my head on the car door when I was trying to dig it out. That was enough to give them some relief & they came inside.
P on the other hand was not so easily convinced. Nor should he have been. You find your wife’s car stuck in the snow, her broken glasses are covered in blood & her car AND HOUSE keys are laying there too. He kept asking me what happened, over & over, but it didn’t come across as a concerned about you questioning, it felt like an interrogation.